🔹healthy, appropriate yet authentic outlets for those whose strong libido and love of/desire for family may always end in tragedy if conventionally pursued
🔹equally effective resources for those whose journey leaves them with a fatalistic outlook and little to no interest in any form of intimacy or commitment at-large
🔹the futility of either jumping in with or pushing away others in fearful reaction to her diagnosis
…that is if she has healthcare access to one beyond empirical symptoms minor as spotting or major as laying down each night on the side that isn’t tender with the equivalent presence of a third trimester pregnancy inside
🔹having her ability to cook well doubted or being written off as bourgeois because they happened to meet her after she swapped her former curves, fried foods, dairy, processed flour, refined sugar and fatty animal protein for positive nutritional habits under physician direction
🔹a new wardrobe because her feet and lady parts might rebel against their casings at any given high tide (yes, casings. When asked how she felt, one woman’s account of “like a sausage” bloated with discomfort still stands out.)
🔹the style of adamantine resolve, playful patience and live-and-let-live ‘chill’ that might eventually adorn her inner self the more people stand at such an observational, even online, distance where it’s hard to tell a regular good guy out about his business apart from a foe-in-disguise
🔹the tug-of-war that is (having to defend) being pro-life yet considering measures of choice to prevent conceptions detrimental or deadly to all but the father
🔹the relative hypocrisy of judging women who seek already taboo abortion services responsibly (e.g. rape victims, women rendered terminally ill or incapacitated during pregnancy, medical emergencies for mother or child) when women who miscarry for any reason are subject to some of the same D&C (“dilation and curettage” that opens and scrapes the womb’s lining) or suction procedures to rid her of fetal remains highly toxic to her body
🔹the various implications of possibly dealing with vaginal dryness after laughingly strolling past lube on drugstore runs her whole adult sexual life
🔹exactly how hot and flashy “hot flashes” are, especially if they arrive decades earlier than one’s social circle and dynamics can handle
🔹only some of her friends understanding an occasional ‘next time’ isn’t premeditatedly antisocial but a period of silent pain as others make mental notes of any assumed weakness they can pinch: clothing, jewelry, residential space, a mate, her character and actual identities
🔹selecting the right partners and time to approach sex or family planning as some will enjoyably honor the fact that even her medical history thrives on exclusivity they can season together while others only register it as clean, dedicated vagina exempt from pregnancy scares
This makes her (as with said wrong partner’s) risk for exposure to STIs and even energetic complications she doesn’t need that much higher; the passive spike to due to the partner’s compromised, thus false, security.
🔹the quiet expectation that she must 1) be available to humbly show up and serve for any child-related request because somehow non-parents have less to do and childless women should feel privileged not to be openly confused with historical Lilith/Jezebel energy or 2) lay down and back off on demand because even requested non-parents, especially childless women, should know their place…
which is far away from younger humans they couldn’t possibly love and guide properly without first having a natural placenta pact.
🔹the likelihood that an entirely new set of rules and considerations for everyone to navigate are on the horizon with new HHS Secretary Price
~ Shall we continue? That’ll make my day. ~
For the (student) clinicians and fellow humans:
🔹Consider how your advice might differ to either example of woman at age 25, 35, 45.
🔹What would your choice of tone, body language and words convey if you learned the condition started developing in her childhood and, although not clinically deemed barren, enough blood, sweat and tears have fallen to suggest infertility?
🔹Would the nature of your counsel differ for a client who developed cancer via sexual transmission of HPV later in life? How exactly?
🔹If equipped with no more (info) than the budget and mandate to cover one case’s plan of acute and extended care, for which of the above type of woman’s health would you advocate? Why?
🔹Would your decision and plan for treatment change if you learned the woman you chose was:
- a person (who isn’t) of color
- an immigrant with or without a language barrier between you
- a member of the LGBTQ community contrary to your faith
- earnestly unable to pay the fee/homeless
- rich — by chance, false means, hard work OR inheritance
- ever a type of sex worker: from the high-status sophisticated lady-in-denial who stays that way via favors to the willing pornographer to the exotic dancer to the full-fledged street or corporate prostitute
- of any criminal past
- atheist or zealous for a different spiritual path
🔹How would you fare if the government and/or your private health care providers applied your own selection criteria to you?
🔹For the faith community, would your life be advocated for another day if God also applied said criteria?
If you use any portion of this post in your academic or professional practices, thank you. Please be sure to cite and credit this source by linking back here.
If you’ve truly processed these considerations and emerged with a stronger yet more compassionate grip on this informal patient & peer sensitivity tip of the holistic wellness iceberg, thank you.
Please modify your mindsets and narratives to heal and encourage more of the same.